from bloom to doom.

sleeping isn’t appealing, but a bottle of vodka is.
lol.
i want to party right now.
too bad i work for the next 2 days.
maybe i’ll ask someone to take my sunday shift,
go somewhere tomorrow night and then just party all night.

melancholy. always fucking melancholy.

i’m ready to move.
anytime now, seriously.

I wanna live in sarnia/BG…
it seeems to be where everything is nowa’ days.
i’m over driving half hour, begging for rides and HAVING to come home.
simply over it. 

i hate it sometimes. lol.
I can’t even figure myself out, usually.
i don’t know, but there are both guys & girls in my life that i just find really interesting. I want to know their stories so badly, but i don’t wanna be liek “WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU THE WAY YOU ARE”. Cause its not a negative thing, i’m just curious…
wishin’ i wasn’t so weird, and hopin that people open up to me soon enough.  

it was weird.
It wasn’t exactly a complete conversation.
but he just asked me why i was sad today…

he doesn’t care, so i don’t know why he asked. 

I REALLY LIKE IT

ALOT.
love that feeeeling.

AHHH 

thank you for making me feel better.
really.

i needed it, sorta. 

that last post made me think…
it’s been about nine months since it happened,
and about nine full months since i carried a conversation with my father.

i don’t think things will ever be the same.
it’s also really weird i think i’ve only told one person about it, and it’s the most unlikely of people in my life. 

i barely had a father figure.
he just wasn’t around very often, that i can remember.
we never really had a “relationship”, and i’ve only learned to interact with girls.
people judge me daily for it, but i don’t see it as a fault in anyway, shape or form.

i can’t help who i am. 

more than anyone you know.
AHAH.
must. stop. soon.